Four years after escaping Domestic Violence
So many people suggest that it’s time to move on, stating that enough time has passed. They ask why you still remember this date and how it continues to affect you.. Because this date wwas the date that changed my life for many reasons.This date in May is forever etched in my memory; it’s the day I realized the impact that drugs can have on a person. It’s the day when I never imagined a man would ever lay a hand on me, marking the moment I recognized I was in a situation of domestic violence. This day also initiated my healing journey.
I spent a long time with someone I believed cared for and loved me, only to discover the complete opposite. This experience gradually eroded my well-being for years. Domestic violence isn't solely defined by physical abuse; it encompasses name-calling, bullying, accusations, excessive driving, isolating you from others, and belittling remarks such as "you're a useless mother" or "no one will ever want you." Destroying your belongings is also abusive. They don't have to hit you to cause deep harm. I was striving to stay strong for my children while battling a body that was shutting down and facing mounting medical issues. I tried to build my career while concealing my reality from others because I felt ashamed and didn’t want anyone to know. There were nights when I slept in the car with my kids, as well as times when we stayed in a hotel together. Many nights, I cried in the shower to avoid being heard. I often downplayed his behavior and actions, as this was my life for four years. Honestly, I believed I deserved this treatment because I was told so regularly. I felt trapped with him and saw no way out; every time I attempted to leave, it never lasted. It was always easier to take him back than to face the yelling, stalking, and being run off the road.The turning point arrived when I realized that I could no longer allow my life to be dictated by fear and manipulation. I knew I needed to reclaim my power, not only for myself but for the well-being of my children. The journey to freedom was not easy, but it was necessary. I sought support from friends and local resources dedicated to helping individuals escape situations of domestic violence. Slowly, I began to rebuild my life, piece by piece.
As I navigated through this challenging transition, I discovered strength I never knew I had. I learned to trust my instincts and to believe in my worth. With each step forward, I gained confidence and clarity, realizing that I deserved a life filled with respect, love, and dignity. My children and m grandson became my greatest motivation and hope fueling me to provide them with a future free from fear and teach them that is not ok.
Despite being reminded daily of the lasting impacts from that assault, I opt to embrace this day with a positive outlook. In truth, I could still be still in that relationship and not the woman I have become today.Choosing positivity doesn't erase the past, but it empowers me to shape my future. Each day is an opportunity to celebrate the strength and resilience I've cultivated through the challenges faced. I am grateful for the growth and transformation that have emerged from adversity, allowing me to reclaim my narrative and live authentically. This journey has taught me to value my self-worth and to surround myself with love and support. I am proud of the woman I've become, and I cherish every moment that has led me to this point. As I move forward, I carry with me the lessons learned and the unyielding spirit that propels me towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.
Reflection
I made a promise to my daughter, for the sake of my grandson, to never return to a place of self-doubt.
I established an online platform, creating a women's group that serves as a voice for many others, instilling hope.
I was featured in a book titled The Unseen Battle to share my story.
This journey revealed aspects of myself that I had buried for so long. It highlighted the healing I needed in the three relationships I experienced, helping me understand why I was drawn to certain types of men.
I rebuilt my life and discovered a place to call home—one that is safe and aligned with who I am today.
This transformation led me to courses, new connections, and opportunities that facilitated my learning and healing.
It empowered me to rediscover my confidence, reclaim my voice, and redefine my identity.
Today, I am proud of the life I've built for us. Though the scars remain, they serve as reminders of my journey and the lessons learned along the way. I am grateful for the support of those who stood by me and the courage it took to break free from the chains of abuse. My story is one of survival, but more importantly, it is a testament to the power of healing, transformation and empower others that there is hope and we can survive.