“I Don’t Date, I Elevate”
Blog Series - Beyond the Labels, Who Am I
There was a time when I thought love was something I had to earn.
I thought I needed to soften my voice, shrink my needs, tolerate chaos, or be endlessly understanding just to be “chosen.”
The unspoken belief underneath it all was painful but familiar:
Maybe I’m hard to love.
Those labels didn’t come out of nowhere.
They were shaped by experiences, relationships, trauma, illness, survival mode.
I learned to settle because I was tired.
I learned to accept the bare minimum because I didn’t think I deserved the most.
I got used to inconsistency and intensity and confusion and somewhere along the way, I mistook that for connection.
But healing has a way of cracking the illusions we once clung to.
Lately, I’ve been shifting.
Not into bitterness, not into walls or distrust
but into clarity.
Into peace.
Into self-respect.
I’m in a season where peace matters more than attention.
Where alignment matters more than attraction.
Where energy matters more than anything external looks, promises, chemistry, potential.
I’m not closed to love.
I’m just radically open to loving myself first.
If love finds me along the way, beautiful.
But I’m done pausing my healing to chase it.
I’m done trying to be “easy,” “low maintenance,” or “unproblematic” just to hold onto it.
I’m done confusing being wanted with being valued.
Because the honest truth is this: I’m becoming the version of me who can no longer settle for crumbs, chaos, or inconsistency.
I don’t need someone to “complete me.”
I don’t need someone to rescue me.
I don’t need someone to validate me.
I need someone who’s doing their own work not looking for someone to carry the weight of their wounds.
The right person won’t be intimidated by my standards, my boundaries, my peace, or my growth.
They’ll respect it because they’ve built their own.
Beyond the labels, I’m not “too emotional,” “too independent,” “too closed off,” or “too much.”
I am someone who finally understands the difference between love and attachment between intensity and intimacy… between attention and alignment.
So no I don’t date to fill a void anymore.
I’m not seeking a person to regulate my emotions, fix my loneliness, or justify my value.
I don’t date I elevate.
And whoever comes into my life next will rise with me, not weigh me down.
They’ll meet me at the level I’ve fought to reach not ask me to return to the version of myself I outgrew.
Because I know this now:
Love is not meant to cost me my peace.
Love is not meant to confuse me.
Love is not meant to shrink me.
Love, real love will recognize me.
Not because I chase it but because I’ve become someone who will never settle for anything less.