Finding Peace in a Life I Didn’t Choose

Reconnecting with Myself

For a long time, I felt completely lost.

Being chronically ill meant everything about my life had change but no one hands you a guidebook on how to live when your body no longer plays by the rules. I was stuck in a place between denial and determination, trying to live like a healthy person, trying to keep up, trying to pretend everything was “normal.”

But I was exhausted, physically, emotionally.

I was grieving the life I thought I was supposed to have. I spent so much time trying to “fix” myself, to get back to who I used to be, that I forgot to look after the version of me that still was.

Reconnecting with myself has been the most important part of coming to terms with my illness. It didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t some magical or quick fix moment. It was slow, uncomfortable, and deeply personal.

It began when I stopped asking, “How can I be more like I was?” and started asking, “Who am I now, and what do I need?”

I started listening to my body, not fighting it. I gave myself permission to rest, to feel, to grieve. I created space for the quiet parts of myself I had been ignoring my creativity, my intuition, my softness. I let go of the pressure to live like everyone else and chose, instead, to live in alignment with me.

Some days, that looks like doing less. Other days, it means saying no without guilt. Always, it means being honest with myself.

Reconnection doesn’t fix everything but it has given me peace. It has grounded me in the truth that I don’t have to live up to anyone else’s version of “normal.” I get to create my own life, in my own rhythm, on my own terms.

And that is enough.