The side of my life, others don't see

You know, there's this side of my life that most people don't get to see, when people see me out and about, doing things, living life they're only seeing a snapshot of what my days are really like.

What they don't see is the aftermath. Every single movement I make increases the spinning it's like being on boat that you can't step off of. Those simple things that most people take for granted? They become massive challenges for me.

The truth is, for every moment I'm out there being active, there are days  yes, entire days where I'm completely bed ridden. Times when I have to carefully plan each step I take, planning my movements like a chess player plans their next move. Walking isn't just walking anymore  t's a navigation through a world that won't stop turning.

The only relief I get is when I'm completely still. Right now, as I'm laying here with the Cat, I'm trying to let my balance system settle. It's Friday afternoon, and this is my reality finding moments of silence, minimizing every movement, letting my body reset.

People often ask me, "How do you do it all?" The answer is I don't. I can't. What they see is just one part of a much bigger picture. For every hour I spend being active, I might spend several more in complete stillness, trying to recover. It's a constant balance quite literally between living life and managing this condition.

This is my normal has been for while im understanding more about it and how to manage it . These quiet moments and periods of forced stillness  they've taught me patience, resilience, and appreciation for the simple act of being stil