Reflection - Life Lately

Life has been full. Not chaotic full. Just movement full. The kind where you look at your camera roll and realise you’ve been living instead of just surviving.

And today I’m reflecting.

The body has been having a few tantys lately. some days im written off. Horizontal. Sleeping. No fight left in me. Old me would’ve judged that. Called it lazy. Weak. Dramatic.

Because what I’ve just done is no small thing.

I completed my Aerial Yoga Foundations and Yin training.

Even typing that feels surreal.

If you had told me a few years ago trauma-riddled nervous system, chronic illness, dissociation as a coping skill, living in survival mode that I’d be in a hammock teaching my body to do something different, I would’ve laughed.

Or cried.

Probably both.

This wasn’t just about yoga.

This was about stepping into a room as a bigger-bodied woman and refusing to shrink.

It was about not letting size dictate experience.

It was about looking at the hammock and thinking, “Stuff it. We’re doing this.”

And we did.

Did I move gracefully every second? No.
Did I overthink? Absolutely.
Did my body ache? Yep.

But I showed up.

And somewhere between learning spinal work, guided meditations in the hammocks, aromatherapy, sound bowls vibrating through the room something shifted in me.

It wasn’t just physical strength.

It was permission.

Permission to take up space.
Permission to hang upside down and not apologise.
Permission to advocate louder for women who’ve been told yoga isn’t for their bodies.

Let me say this clearly:

Your size does not disqualify you from softness.
Your weight does not disqualify you from strength.
Your body is not a before picture.

If one woman sees me in a hammock and thinks, “Maybe I could try…” then every wobble was worth it.

And in between all of this there’s been living.

Quick roadie to the Waikato.
Lake picnics.
Swing bridges.

Weekend In Auckland
Butterfly Creek in Auckland.
Bastion Point with that quiet kind of beauty.
Sky Tower. Never been up there.

From being horizontal and written off…

My life is slowly becoming less frantic busy and more intentional busy. And I think that’s growth. Choosing experiences. Choosing expansion. Choosing rest when the body demands it.

I am pretty damn proud of myself.

Not because I did something flashy.
But because I didn’t let the old stories win.

And if you’re reading this is your reminder:

Rest is not regression.
Trying is brave.
And it’s never too late to climb higher than the version of you who once believed she couldn’t.