What You Don’t See in the Photos

These photos might not seem like much at first glance.
Just snapshots. Moments. Before and after people scroll past quickly.

But behind each one is a body that survived what words often fail to explain.
A nervous system that stayed awake so I could stay alive.
A woman who didn’t transform she rebuilt herself from the inside out.

Before Survival Had a Name

Teen years

This was before children. Before trauma layered itself into my body. Before survival mode became my default setting.
I didn’t yet know how much life would ask of me or how much my body would one day carry on my behalf.

Disconnection Disguised as Normal

Unhealthy habits

This stage wasn’t about laziness or lack of care.
It was about disconnection.

I ate food that didn’t nourish me. I didn’t move my body with intention. I ignored early warning signs because I didn’t yet understand them.
My body was speaking long before I learned how to listen.

When the Body Lives in Fear

Domestic violence

Living in domestic violence changes everything especially the body.
Fear isn’t just emotional. It’s physiological.

My nervous system stayed switched on constantly. My brain rewired itself for danger. Illness after illness was triggered not because my body was weak, but because it was under threat every single day.

This is what chronic stress does.
This is what survival looks like on the inside.

Leaving Isn’t the Same as Healing

Rebuilding

Leaving domestic violence didn’t mean instant relief.
Safety came first but healing lagged behind.

My body didn’t trust peace. My nervous system didn’t know the danger had passed.
Healing doesn’t begin when you leave it begins when your body learns it no longer has to brace for impact.

The Breakdown That Was Actually Biology

Inflammation, trauma, and a nervous system on high alert

Make it stand out

Inflammation took over. Trauma lived in my tissues.
Hypervigilance, dissociation, shutdown all signs of a brain that did exactly what it needed to do to keep me alive.

This wasn’t failure.
This was biology responding to prolonged threat.

When Healing Finally Began

Therapy, support, and safety

Healing didn’t start with motivation or discipline.
It started with safety.

Therapy helped me understand my nervous system. Boundaries became medicine. Healthy habits stopped being about fixing myself and started being about supporting my body.

I learned how to rest without guilt.
How to move gently.
How to nourish instead of punish.

Four Years of Advocacy in One Photo

Days after a full hysterectomy

This photo holds four years of fighting to be heard.

Four years of pain, medical appointments, advocating for myself, and refusing to accept dismissal.

The surgery wasn’t the end of my journey it was a turning point.
A moment where survival finally made space for healing.

Where I Am Now

Regulation, management, and intention

Today, my FND has settled.
My nervous system is calmer. Not perfect but regulated.

I live with chronic illness and vestibular issues, and I manage them with awareness, compassion, and respect for my limits.
Movement looks different now. Life looks different now.
But it is intentional. And it is mine.

This Isn’t a Glow-Up

This isn’t a transformation story built on aesthetics or hustle.
It’s a nervous system learning peace after years of war.

It’s a body that was never broken only overwhelmed.
And every version of me especially the exhausted, dissociated, surviving ones deserves to be honoured.

Because healing isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about coming home to yourself.