Every Emotion Came Flooding Back

It’s strange how certain moments or memories can bring everything back at once the ache, the anger, the sadness, the questions that never got answered.

Every emotion came flooding back today, and with it came the reminder of a truth I’ve carried for years:

I’ll never have the kind of relationship most people have with their siblings.

We grew up under the same roof, but we didn’t have the same mother not really.

Each of us experienced a different version of her.

Different moods, different expectations, different love, and for some of us, very little of it.

It’s wild how the same person can be remembered in completely different ways by her own children.

That’s what dysfunction does it distorts love, it fractures connection, and it teaches you to survive in silence.

For a long time, I tried to fit in.

I tried to keep the peace, to belong, to be “part of the family.”

But deep down, I always felt like the afterthought the one who saw too much, felt too much, and could see straight through the bullshit no one else wanted to face.

It’s not about bitterness; it’s about clarity.

When you’ve spent your life walking through dysfunction, you develop a radar for what’s real and what’s not.

You see the cracks in the smiles, the lies wrapped in pretty words, the unspoken tension in every family gathering.

And while I used to see that as a curse, now I understand it’s part of my awakening.

Because seeing the truth even when it hurts is what sets you free.

For years, I carried things that were never mine to carry:

the guilt, the silence, the emotional baggage that was passed down like some twisted family heirloom.

I took on the role of peacekeeper, caretaker, and fixer until it broke me.

It’s taken time to unlearn that pattern, to remind myself that not every burden needs to be mine, not every problem is mine to solve.

The sad reality is, some wounds don’t get healed through reconciliation they get healed through release.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is stop trying to belong to a place that never saw your worth.

This is what years of dysfunction and trauma do they force you to build your own kind of peace.

They teach you how to mother yourself, how to create boundaries, how to stop seeking validation from people who were never capable of giving it.

And in that painful process, you begin to find freedom.

So yes, today every emotion came flooding back but this time, I didn’t drown in it.

I let it wash through me.

I honored it.

And then, I let it go.

Because healing doesn’t always mean forgetting.

Sometimes it just means finally accepting that you deserved better and giving that “better” to yourself.