Lets talk Domestic Violence
This topic might be a bit unsettling for some, but it represents a significant portion of my life that has caused immense trauma. My body had already endured so much, and it felt as though it was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.
It’s a crucial piece of my puzzle, as this was my third serious relationship and, unfortunately, the one that truly broke me. I found myself trapped in a constant cycle, repeatedly attracting the same type of men. This pattern can be traced back to the dysfunction and trauma of my childhood and life experiences. The sad reality is that each relationship escalated, exposing me to different forms of abuse. However, the underlying issues I need to heal from remained consistent, including people-pleasing, abandonment issues, the urge to fix them, and codependency.
For four years, I lived in a reality I never thought I would find myself in—domestic violence. Understanding and accepting that this was a part of my life was a daunting task. I was caught in a cycle that felt normal, but in truth, it was far from it. My experiences were clouded by my love and attachment, making it difficult to truly see the situation for what it was.
Domestic violence is insidious. It creeps into your life often disguised as passion or concern. Initially, I couldn't recognize the signs because they were masked by moments of affection and apologies. The cycle of abuse begins with tension building, leading to an incident, followed by reconciliation, and a period of calm. Recognizing this pattern was crucial in understanding my situation.
It took time and deep self-reflection to realize that what I was experiencing was not normal or acceptable. The people-pleasing tendencies and abandonment issues that stemmed from my past made me susceptible to such relationships. Accepting this reality was painful, but it was a necessary step towards healing.
Understanding that my experiences were part of a larger pattern helped me take steps towards breaking free. It was essential to acknowledge the abuse and seek help. Whether through therapy, support groups, or resources like the “Inside the Portal to Healing,” I began to find paths to recovery.
Healing is a journey, and it requires patience and self-compassion. By recognizing the reality of domestic violence in my life, I took the first step towards not only surviving but thriving.