Living with Trauma
How it rewires the brain
Living with trauma isn't just about emotional scars it literally rewired my brain. For years, I existed in pure survival mode, not really living, just... surviving. You know that feeling when you're constantly on edge? Like your body's alarm system is stuck on high alert? That was my daily reality.
My body would brace for danger that wasn't there. My nervous system was essentially trapped in a constant state of crisis. It's like having your fight-or-flight response stuck in the "on" position, 24/7.
This constant state of hypervigilance led to something called Functional Neurological Disorder, or FND. It's fascinating, really, how the brain adapts to protect itself, even when those adaptations end up causing more problems. With FND, my brain essentially created neurological symptoms - things like tremors, weakness, and even temporary paralysis - not because of structural damage, but because of how trauma had rewired my neural pathways.
Even the chronic illnesses i had. Basically my body was exhausted from being constantly prepared for threats, began to break down in various ways. Chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues the list of symptoms is long, it's like my body was speaking a language of distress that I couldn't silence.
But here's what I want you to understand: this isn't just my story. Millions of people are walking around with similar invisible battles. The brain-body connection is incredibly powerful, and trauma doesn't just live in our memories - it lives in our cells, our nervous system, our very being.
The journey to healing will have days that are better than others. But understanding how trauma physically affected my brain has been crucial in my recovery. It helped me realize that my symptoms weren't "all in my head" in the dismissive sense - they were very real manifestations of how trauma had shaped my neural pathways.
Through therapy, mindfulness, and various alternative therapies, I'm slowly teaching my brain that it's safe to relax its guard. It's a process of rewiring those neural pathways, creating new patterns, and essentially showing my brain that the danger has passed. It's like rehabilitating a muscle - it takes time, patience, and consistent effort